I'm so tired. so so tired

My sweet little princess is teething. Thank you for your sympathy my fellow parents. Last night my little baby girl woke up 4 times last night. At 230pm today it feels like she was up every 15 minutes. If someone were to give me the option of being water-boarded torture or sleep like i did last night. I would of picked torture. And on top of all of it I'm sick. Yeah me! Where is my sympathy parade! I want CONFETTI!!! 

That is all. 

Informing your first prisoner he is about to get a cellmate.

When my wife told me that she was pregnant, I was extremely excited. But then I remembered.....we already have one.

How are we going to get our little man on board with the thought of having another monster, I mean, beautiful little darling child running around. (just in case if in the future my children are reading this...daddy loves you) How are we gonna make sure that our 1st continues to feel the attention he needs and make sure that #1 continues to feel loved. All these questions!

The first thing we did was explain to child numero uno (and that's not in order of importance, but order of birth) that mommy has a baby in her belly. And number 1 is going to be a BIG BROTHER! if i could put his reaction into words it would be "joy, mixed with confusion, dash of an off putting look, stirred with a hint of anger". 

(Brownie added to soften the blow) 

For my lady readers it was like the look you give a friend who is crazy slutty gets engaged before you. For my guys, imagine your happily married church going friend gets invited to the playboy mansion for the halloween party or any party for that matter it's the FREAKING PLAYBOY MANSION. (Both situations you're thinking it should of been me)

Then the announcing, the gatherings, and the congratulations occur! And the 1st one is feeling neglected. So we did a lot, A LOT of prep work. As if we were getting him ready to take the BAR Exam. We dropped DOLLA DOLLA bills y'all on books and movies (ill list these at the end). We even called his curious George monkey (this auntie Kristin) his "baby". He even put a diaper on it. Even for this guy, it was cute.

So the day arrives número dos is here (once again not in order of importance or favoritism just birth order). It's time to do the meet and greet. My wife read when you're gonna introduce the siblings have the new born in the crib incubator push cart thing and have the older sibling sit with mommy and introduce the baby to him. That way he/she isn't walking on the new cool guy snuggling up with his momma. So that's what we did and it went PERFECT! We also told our little guy that his baby sister brought him a present as a thank you for sharing his mommy and daddy. The deal was sealed. He was/is in love with his baby sister.

Now the reality sets in. You're home with the baby. And now #1 is feeling a little neglected. People are coming over to visit the baby. They're gushing, gooing, and going crazy over a new baby. 

One thing all those stupid big brother books didnt mention was how the parents are going to be when the baby is here.  We didnt explain to him that new babies don't sleep well and mommy and daddy will be on edge for awhile. So maybe cut back on the "Mickey Mouse club house" demands.  It didnt explain that babies need lots of attention because they can't do anything. And it sure as hell didnt explain that mommy and daddy won't be able to just put the baby down and play. Fucking books! I want my money back! 

My wife and I made a conscience effort to make sure little man doesn't feel neglected. That means "man on man defense". We can't both be focused on the baby. Sure for short moments, but we can both just be staring at the newest release for hours on end. 

So we planed "mommy son dates" and "guys nights" an "just the three of us" times. 

Here is what we did when the newest version is released to the home.

"Mommy dates" - 

When mommy and little man go do something special they obviously cant go far, she's got the boobies!  So maybe a quick trip to go get ice cream, pick up a some food (phone it in if you can) or even just a trip to the store. 

Guys nights- 

little man and I would go to the restaurant and live like KINGS! Make a mess and not flinch. (Just kidding dont be a douche- that's the opposite of Dad Swag) we would go to the park. Go feed ducks. Some fun stuff

"Just the three of us" - 

Have a family member come over to watch the baby (most granny's will cut someone for this time). Now you three go somewhere close by and just enjoy your 1st born. Wife and I did picnics at the park down the street, ice cream run, 

What's really important during these times is you stay off your I-suck or your An-douche and keep total focus on your kid. This is their time not yours

Now some of you might be thinking what's the bid deal? I have siblings and we didnt need to do all this. Can you remember when you were 3 and had to divide your parents attention. 

Just imagine your spouse or significant other  tells you "that there is another person they love and he or she is going to be living with us. That's how your kid(s) is taking the news of adding another child in this house. Oh the betrayal of you bastards. How dare you ruin this perfect ecosystem by bringing in another person into his/her home! 

Maybe you're one of the lucky ones where your first child always wanted a little brother and sister. That's awesome! Good for you. I hope all the best. Still prep the shit out them. Becuase their world is about to get ROCKED in a few months.

Wow this one was lengthily. I hope I kept your attention through it all. Just remember prep and make them still feel special once the newest version comes. 

Be that Dad with SWAG!

The two I recommend the most -
ICE AGE - Dawn of Dinosaurs (their having a baby - helps explain the baby is in the belly)
One Special day (book) - about a boy becoming a big brother

For questions, comments, concerns email me at thatdadswagblog@gmail.com