Sleeping in my arms. It's cute until gotta do some shit!

My baby girl isn't feeling well. So for her 2nd nap of the day (which I plan and time carefully at the same time as big brothers nap) she is sleeping in my arms.  I just lay back in our recliner turn on the tv And enjoy some (sort of) alone time. But today I passed out in the chair. I woke up to my own snoring. Seriously. It started me, which startled her. So you know go f#%< myself right? So I jump up and start bouncing and shushing her back to dream world. (Side note - I bounce and pat bottoms so much that when I'm at work and I start to feel tied and start doing that WITH NO CHILD IN MY ARMS!! This is the life I chose). So she's back asleep and now my stomach goes "hey, remember those delicious cheese fries you made last night?" Yes I do stomach, why do you ask?" "Because I'm all done with it now. So......" "No please no. Just wait. Please not now. Lets hold off until my wife gets". "That's a negatory we need to make the delivery". FFFFFFFFFF&&&&&&&&&&%%%%%%%%%%%%<<<<<<<!!!!! So I try to put Peaches (my daughters nickname) down in her crib. And I full on Usain Bolt to the porcelain shrine. Then Peaches starts shrieking like a wild demon banshee. And my stomach goes "Oh, my bad. False alarm". Are you kidding me stomach!!!!!!????!!! Really?!?!???!? My arms are tired. I hate you stomach.