"DADDY, SAVE ME". My son screamed in his first time in swim class just a few days ago. He was not pleased to be in the pool with a total stranger that he met 10 mins prior. He cried. He tried to climb out of the instructors hands.
Even though he
wasn't really participating, I was cheering him on in all the little
things he was willing to do. He crab crawled on the wall. Now even
though he has been doing this for a year and a half now. I cheered him
on like an over enthusiastic little league dad. I clapped hard. I
cheered loudly. I let him know that I was watching and he was doing a
great job. Throwing the pool toy. Putting his head under water. Blowing
bubbles. You would of thought my son was trying to make the US Olympic
squad. I was letting him know that he can do this. Afterwards I
mentioned "How PROUD of him I was" about 30 times in the 3 hours from
when he classed ended and when he fell asleep. In hopes that the next
class would be a better day.
AND IT WAS. All the other parents were shocked. SHOCKED. That my crying and screaming mini me was not only participating in the class but excelling in it. He was jumping in to the pool. Swimming under water. Even cheering his classmates on.
To build up your child's confidence, all they need is....Praise. Positive reinforcement. This isn't boot camp. They don't need to be torn down to be brought back up. They are toddlers, babies, high schoolers.
Building confidence means being a - mirror/positive self image
It's like how Justin Timberlake said in "Mirrors"
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
(and that went just a bit to long)
A lot of your child's self-image comes not only from what the child sees in him/herself, but from how they think others see them.This all comes from reactions that parents, friends, and family make. My son said "Daddy, I'm a shy boy". I asked him why does he think this? "Because (his preschool friend) said so". I told him "Buddy you're not shy. You are very brave. You approach kids in the park and make new friends all the time. Now would a shy boy do that?" He stood there for a moment and thought about what I said. "No".
AND IT WAS. All the other parents were shocked. SHOCKED. That my crying and screaming mini me was not only participating in the class but excelling in it. He was jumping in to the pool. Swimming under water. Even cheering his classmates on.
To build up your child's confidence, all they need is....Praise. Positive reinforcement. This isn't boot camp. They don't need to be torn down to be brought back up. They are toddlers, babies, high schoolers.
Building confidence means being a - mirror/positive self image
It's like how Justin Timberlake said in "Mirrors"
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
(and that went just a bit to long)
A lot of your child's self-image comes not only from what the child sees in him/herself, but from how they think others see them.This all comes from reactions that parents, friends, and family make. My son said "Daddy, I'm a shy boy". I asked him why does he think this? "Because (his preschool friend) said so". I told him "Buddy you're not shy. You are very brave. You approach kids in the park and make new friends all the time. Now would a shy boy do that?" He stood there for a moment and thought about what I said. "No".
I was at my nephew's little league basketball game. I noticed that the coach never once gave one compliment to his team. AND THEY WERE UP BY 20 at one point! It got so bad that he coaches son litterally just stop dribbling and slammed the ball down. Other parents were joing in and you could tell by the 3rd quarter and up by 17 the kids didn't care. They checked out. So I just started yelling louder and giving props to these 6th-8th graders. They started playing harder. They finished strong. Once the game was down I walked up to few kids, gave them some props in person and a few pointers. The next game was the championship game and they won by 20 after they were considered the underdogs.
Building confidence also means - Playing/having fun together.
Kids associate a lot of there confidence to play time. It sounds weird but I tell you its true. If your kid is sitting alone in their room and playing by themselves they will think they are boring and not fun. So the moment you see your kid playing by themselves and you are reading your facebook feed or twitter news. Put down the phone and give them some play time. AND JUST PLAY. Don't critique them. Don't tell them "that's not how this works", "superman doesn't need a plane", just play. Have fun.
Building confidence also means - Don't be fake.
Kids can read you better then you think. They know when they are being bamboozled by a phony voice and smile. You don't have to be the "Wiggles" or "Barney" every time. When they do something and you're not on your A Game because you haven't had your mocha latte yet. Don't fake the funk. But when you do have that sweet sweet caffeinated drink coursing through your veins, bring up that "thing they did again" and be a little more energetic about it.
Help them build a positive self image by giving them praise/cheering them on, spend time with them, and don't B rated movie fake.
Pretty simple right.
Building confidence also means - Playing/having fun together.
Kids associate a lot of there confidence to play time. It sounds weird but I tell you its true. If your kid is sitting alone in their room and playing by themselves they will think they are boring and not fun. So the moment you see your kid playing by themselves and you are reading your facebook feed or twitter news. Put down the phone and give them some play time. AND JUST PLAY. Don't critique them. Don't tell them "that's not how this works", "superman doesn't need a plane", just play. Have fun.
Building confidence also means - Don't be fake.
Kids can read you better then you think. They know when they are being bamboozled by a phony voice and smile. You don't have to be the "Wiggles" or "Barney" every time. When they do something and you're not on your A Game because you haven't had your mocha latte yet. Don't fake the funk. But when you do have that sweet sweet caffeinated drink coursing through your veins, bring up that "thing they did again" and be a little more energetic about it.
Help them build a positive self image by giving them praise/cheering them on, spend time with them, and don't B rated movie fake.
Pretty simple right.
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