It's not the 1960s anymore

"Outfit. What man says OUT-FIT" was the reply I was given after I complimented this 1960s generation man on step up from his normal Under Armour jacket and tear away pants (as if he is the sixth man for the Lakers about to get called off the bench or at any moment he may hear Warrant's "Cherry Pie" song, and show no mercy to the tear away and go Full Monty on us)  he usually dons for an evening out on the town.

-2 hours earlier.
I was just standing there watching the game on tv. Minding my own business. When a family friend of close to 30 years my senior approached me. He congratulated me on the news of my 2nd child being conceived.  Yeah for UNPROTECTED SEX!!!! Anyways, this man whom I respected begins to share his personal views of stay at home dads. (He being completely unaware of the fact my wife and I were talking about me being the primary "day care" parent and that I just got hired for a part time job at Nordstrom.) He begins to state that "the country is going to hell" and that "we need more men, real men and not these (insert air quote hands) metro sexual men". I just laughed because what else could I do. Get into a heated argument right after he and his lovey sweet (very opinionated) wife just congratulated us on having UNPROTECTED SEX. Yeah you didn't use condoms!!!  O' to the miracle of creating a child and all the unwanted tips, advice, and opinions that come with it.  So I think to myself "F--- IT I'm a grown man. I'm gonna say something". So of course after the excitement of the UNPROTECTED SEX news energy dies down the normal guy questions get asked. "So how's work, are you still working at that law firm"? (AH yes my moment) So with a smile on my face I said "I took a job at Nordstrom in the Men's Department". The reaction was just what I was looking for. Mouth slightly opened, eyes getting wider, and the thought of "Is he one of those Metro Sexual guys I was just blasting an hour ago" running around in his mind.

Back to the game. There's a few cheers. A few boos. A few more booze. Then I get asked "So, Nordstrom huh"? "Yeah". "I heard their a good company to work for." "Yeah, I'm excited. You know I like to dress up". I get a compliment for what I was wearing. I then give a compliment back "yeah, I been meaning to compliment you on the outfit you put together".  That's when I get hit with the "Outfit. What man says OUT-FIT".

Its a New Era. More and more men are putting effort into how they look. More and more men are getting in the kitchen. And more and more men are staying at home. I would like to give a shout out to all the bra burning ladies for demanding equal pay, job opportunities, and rights. God Bless ya. Because now instead of dealing with that rush hour 405 death sentence traffic, I'm watching Elmo teach my kid that it is important to wash your hands after using the potty. (To wit, it really is)  While eating a bowl of cheerios, in my jams jams.

Its not the 1960s anymore.

"So don't usually ladies work at clothing stores"?

I usually have Mondays and Wednesdays off from work. So those are the days I take my mini me to a park by my house. I normally meet my friend who is a full time stay at home dad and our kids normally run around (sort of playing) together.  While we are discussing are fantasy football teams and how Kaepernick torched the Packers in week 1 (thank you for doing practically NOTHING from then on COLIN) another dad in his mid 40s comes stomping up with his kid as if he would rather sit in a bunch power point presentations then play tag.

Now my buddy and I usually greet other parents that come walking up and immediately explain which kids are ours.  And this tool made it very clear that "my wife is sick so I HAD to take a day off to BABY SIT my kids" (A note to you dads or future dads YOU'RE NOT BABY SITTING YOUR OWN KIDS) So my buddy and I go back to talking football. Mid level guy all of a sudden perks up like a dog that heard the word "walk". Mid level guys begins to brag about the Patriots. (Side note for you all who dont pay attention to football, before this season started the Patriots refused to pay their best receiver so he left for Tom Brady's  rival. Their 2nd best weapon kept pushing back his surgery to repair his back and knee. And if you havent heard of Aaron Hernandez - Google it.)

So we get to talking to this dad. He is some mid level guy of some tech company not many people heard of. Yet he has the arrogance you would think Steve Jobs had once the IPOD was introduced.  Like this M------- F--------  invented something. He then asks what we do in this really off putting tone. My buddy said he is a stay at home dad to which this douche said "that's...nice". I then mention I'm a part time employee at Nordstrom. Then I get hit with the  "So don't usually ladies work at clothing stores"? I bit my tongue with my first reaction because I'm surrounded by toddlers so I just reply with "Yeah usually but I think guys have been employed or started companies like Nordstrom since the invention of Department stores".

Its not the 1960s anymore. Nordstrom was actually founded by 2 men.

"Honey I'm home".

I was shocked to hear that they're dads out there under 45 years old that come home and go straight to the couch and expect to do NOTHING in the home. They just rest their plumply jiggle after a milkshake butts on "their" chair and grab the remote. It BLOWS MY MIND. Especially when their wives work FULL TIME jobs too!!! Look idiot. If your wife works too. Then guess what you plopping your fat lard on the couch is the biggest sign of disrespect to your wife. If you wanted a maid you should of hired one. If you wanted a partner in the crazy journey called life, then get your ass up. Play with your kids or help slice a damn tomato! 

Right before I put the key in the door I take a deeeeeeep breathe and say "these are the people I love the most in this world". And I try my best to walk in with a smile on my face. Trust me, I get it. When you get home your probably a bit antsy and aggravated from a day at the office because some jack hole drop the ball on his end of a project you guys were working on and you got reamed for it. But that's not your wife or kids fault that you had a rough day. I had one friend who literally would walk in and completely GHOST his wife, head straight to the bedroom, get undressed and play video games on the computer. He would come out an hour or two later to eat dinner and then go back to the world of Nerd-Dom. 

I eventually told my "buddy" that what he does is pretty jacked up. He ended up changing his ways for about a week. Then went back to the present absentee father. The topic got brought up again and he so poetically told me to go mind my own business.  Unfortunately this guy is now on his 4th marriage. And we no longer talk. 

But you're not like that. You're a Dad with Swag.