Mission Statement

Dad - 1. one's father.

1. "his dad was with him"

Swag (short for swagger) -  1.

walk or behave in a very confident and typically arrogant or aggressive way.

"he swaggered along the corridor"

synonyms:

strut, parade, stride; More

"That Dad Swag" is a blog meant to be "edu-taining." Hopefully you'll learn a thing or two and be entertained. I do a lot of research online and read a lot of books in regards to parenting. I will teach you the tips and ideas that have helped me get through this crazy adventure, while dressing sharp,  eating great, and being the dad that leaves a positive mark on your family.

Now, I'm going to talk to you as if you were one of my friends. I don't sugar coat it. I'll tell you straight up that you're getting fat, your haircut looks stupid, those clothes don't fit. And I usually say it with a few choice words (if there aren't any little asshole parrot kids around). But I'm also the guy who will pull you aside and let you know you got food stuck in your teeth.  I will step on that toilet tissue you have been dragging around. 

If you are ok with sarcasm, then continue reading this blog. I feel like a lot of you will get some good advice out of this. Like what, you ask? 

This blog will give you tips on:

Fashion -  (because some of you think wearing your favorite team jersey is "dressing up")

I'll teach how to put your clothes together and make a complete look. 

Food - I'll teach you how to cook some awesome meals.

(Homemade cheesecake)

Family - How to build better relationships with your wife, kids, parents, and in laws.

and entertain you with my crazy stories.  (I'm scared for my future, if I got what my mother hoped for) 

(I'll explain this one when we get to the blog about having your kids help you cook)

A little about me. 

I am a father of 2 kids (1 mini me, 1 mini wife) and 2 angel babies. I am a husband to my high school sweetheart. I am (as of this post) a Nordstrom employee in the Men's Sportswear department in Mission Viejo. I am crazed espn tv/radio sport-aholic,foodie, TV and movie watcher. I'm a huge music fan (from Beethoven to Tupac). But I also have some massive road rage and a short fuse. 

Who should read this blog:

Guys. 

Those who want to laugh their asses off.

People who check mark the male box.

People who want to end world hunger. 

Those yearning for a Krispy Kreme donut.

Human beings with a penis.
Parents who wish they could take a day off from being a parent.

The type of person who really hate AIDS.

Billy Ray Cyrus. 

Guys who want to step their game up.

Dads who like being dads

Dads who don't like being dads.

Some ladies who are also in that dad role. 

But Dads mainly.

You don't have to be a dad of course. You can read my stories about fatherhood and use that as a natural birth control. Or decide this sounds like one crazy ride, and ask yourself where do I buy tickets?! If you ever thought "I would like to feel hungover with out the fun of drinking most mornings for the rest of my life!!!!!" Then join the team of being a dad. 

Please just be the legal voting age. That way I don't feel bad when I curse. I will do it here. Because I'm not allowed to outloud in my home. And mainly because I don't want my toddler kids going around dropping f-bombs on the swings at the park while pretending to be Buzz Lightyear. "To fucking infinity and beyond  bitches!" 

Who shouldn't read this:

Hitler supporters. 

Cat ladies. 

Those who support AIDS. (Not those who have it but the actual disease)

The deceased.

Anyone who has forgotten 9/11.

People who speak in #hashtags.

People who don't know what a rotary phone is. 

People with no access to the Internet.  

If you ever bought a Justin Bieber album on purpose (this includes my wife).

Robots. 
Tom Brady. ( you have enough in life, I shouldnt have to entertain you)
If you still use "Who let the dogs out" as a joke. Except Alan from "The Hangover".

If you are over the age of 29 and wear skinny jeans, then sag them below your butt. 

People who call their pets "their kids". 

Justin Bieber. 

Anyone who is associated with the Yankees organization.  

Those who can't read or speak English. (Sorry mom but your accent is too heavy for most people to understand, so that includes you)

If you're older then 30 and still flip the middle finger in pictures. (And you are not a actor or musician - even then it's barely tolerable) 

Terrorists.
Any man who goes to a bar and orders a pina colada and you're not on vacation. 

And Zombies. I hate zombies. Really. I hope the zombie apocalypse happens, so I get my chance to shoot up some motha f'n zombies!! 

A wise man once told me "don't make your wife jealous of other women, make other women jealous of your wife".  If by reading that quote makes you think "hell yeah!" I want to be a dad with swag. Then this blog will help you achieve that.

That Dad Swag 

Any questions, concerns, or comments? Email me at Thatdadswagblog@gmail.com