So my son who is about to be three is learning what makes boys and girls different. YEAH!!!! Time for awkward questions about genders in public places in front of complete strangers!!!!!
My mini me and I are in the mall. I don't remember why. I don't even remember if we accomplished the purpose of going there. But he stops me in front of a group of stay at home moms and says "daddy, how come i don't have a vagina?" Well buddy, you're a boy and boys have (interrupted) "A PENIS!!!!!! AAAAAAAA!!!!" Then he begins to run around in circles like he is terrified of the terrible penis getting him. I look up at the ladies who are laughing and politely acknowledging the awkwardness. I tell them we are explaining the differences between boys and girls. They all make comments along the lines of "been there", "can't wait for that talk", and "isn't it a little early for that talk". A few mothers chimed in that it isn't and I used that as my queue to move the awkwardness along to ...... Where the hell are we going?
I know some parents that get uncomfortable with this topic. I don't understand why though. It's natural (like farts and poop) for little boys and girls to want to know why mommy,daddy, or baby brother or sister have different parts down there. Kids are inquisitive. And that's a good thing.
Some parents decide to go with the "front butt" or "who ha"and the "pee pee". I think that eventually confuses the kid once they start learning the words penis and vagina.
Be direct, short and sweet. It's better you talk to your kid then someone else. To your toddler that body part is no different then any other appendage and characteristic he or she has. Just call it what it is. It's called a penis buddy. Or a vagina dude. Then the dreaded "Why?" Comes. There to helps us go to the bathroom. "Why does mommy have a hydrangea?" Well buddy God made girls and boys different and unique. (If you're not religious then.....I don't know how to answer that-good luck)
Don't be scared to talk about penises and vaginas. Just like I said in the beginning if you don't someone else will. Like some twisted kid who'se parents neglect and he is allowed to roam on the dangerous Internet by himself. He gets curious and types "boobs" and pictures come up. And one thing leads to another and now this demented weirdo is teaching your kid about private parts. So just jump in talk about it.
Just remember
Keep it simple
Use the real words
God made us different
And to use the potty.
I'll leave you with a little convo with my little man.
Mini me - daddy I don't have boobs.
Me - you're right buddy. Boys don't have boobs
Mini me- daddy, you have boobs.
Me - (depressing sigh) sort of. I have pecs. They look like boobs because daddy hasn't had a chance to work out.
Mini me - yeah. You need to work out.
Me- are you trying to be hurtful?
Mini me - no daddy. I love you. And I don't have boobs like daddy.
Me- ok, it's now bed time.
That Dad Swag.
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